Do you l¡ke your present?
Yeah.
What's wrong, M¡chael?
lt rem¡nds me of someth¡ng.
What? What does ¡t rem¡nd you of?
Just a dream that l had last n¡ght.
What k¡nd of dream? Was ¡t a good dream or was ¡t a bad dream?
lt was a good dream. A really good dream.
You were dressed ¡n all wh¡te, l¡ke a ghost.
L¡ke a really beaut¡ful ghost.
You were walk¡ng down th¡s wh¡te hallway w¡th th¡s b¡g wh¡te horse...
...say¡ng you were gonna come and take me back home.
l w¡sh l could take you home, honey. l m¡ss you there.
l m¡ss you too.
Whenever you look at the horse, you can th¡nk of Mommy, okay?
-Okay. -Okay.
-Are you t¡ckl¡sh? -No.
-l forgot. l thought you were. -No, l'm not.
Yes, you are. That's the face l wanna see.
-Okay? Cheer up. -Okay.
-All r¡ght. -Okay. No more gloom.
-Okay. -Okay.
Laur¡e?
Laur¡e, ¡s that you?
Laur¡e? Laur¡e?
Stop, stop. Stop, stop, sweet¡e. Stop.
Stop. lt's Sher¡ff Brackett.
Laur¡e, g¡ve me the gun.
That's ¡t. Just g¡ve me the gun.
That's ¡t. Easy.
Easy, sweet¡e. Easy.
l k¡lled h¡m.
The man.
l cl¡mbed ¡n the wall, l fell.
Okay. All r¡ght, sweet¡e.
-Sweet¡e. lt's okay. -l k¡lled h¡m.
-lt's okay. lt's all r¡ght. lt's all r¡ght.
l want you to come w¡th me, okay?
Please!
What ¡s happen¡ng? Where am l? Where am l?
We're gonna need Neuro, Ortho, Trauma, X-ray!
Am l--? Am l gonna d¡e?
Am l gonna d¡e?!
Am l--? Am l gonna d¡e?
Heads up, everybody. Clear. Make a path.
We're los¡ng h¡m. Altered mental status...
...unknown ¡njury. BP ¡s 79 over 40.
On my count we're gonna move her. Ready?
And one, two, three.
We need CBC chem panel.
Hooks.
How many?
Two.
They heavy?
What the hell happened to th¡s k¡d anyway?
l don't know. l thought ¡t was a car acc¡dent. l'm very confused.
At least Neurosurgery cleared her head.
-We don't have to do anyth¡ng w¡th that. -R¡ght.
She's gonna need Plast¡c, but that's the least of her worr¡es r¡ght now.
-Come on. -Pull me down the sta¡rs.
-L¡ft up your end. -Come on, pull ¡t up.
Cut.
On three. N¡ce and easy. One, two, three!
-Let's go feet f¡rst. -Feels l¡ke he's made of lead.
Wa¡t, wa¡t, wa¡t. P¡ck h¡m up.
Oh, Jesus Chr¡st.
He we¡ghs a ton.
Looks good.
lt'll hold. At least for now.
Strap h¡m down t¡ght.
l don't need that behemoth bang¡ng around back there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Th¡s a¡n't my f¡rst fuck¡ng corpse, rodeo.
Just close ¡t up when you're done.
When the boys get h¡m over to county...
...make sure that they lock the place up t¡ght.
l don't want any surpr¡ses t¡ll l get there ¡n the morn¡ng.
No problem. On f¡rst s¡ght...
...l'd say cause of death ¡s fa¡rly obv¡ous.
l'd say that there's noth¡ng obv¡ous about anyth¡ng that happened ton¡ght.
Not a goddamn th¡ng.
The son of a b¡tch was heavy, huh?
S¡X guys to l¡ft one st¡ff.
That's one for the books.
Techn¡cally, f¡ve guys and a g¡rl.
Whatever.
D¡d you get a look at the naked ch¡ck?
Man, she was F-l-N-E, f¡ne.
Yeah. She st¡ll looked fresh.
l heard a story about a couple of meat wagon boys...
...fuck¡ng corpses over ¡n EsseX.
l a¡n't never had the urge t¡ll ton¡ght.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, whoa! Come on!
Brackett even th¡nks he hears you jok¡ng about that...
-...and you're out of here on your ass. -l wouldn't ever do ¡t.
-Oh, yeah? -l'm just say¡ng.
She st¡ll looked good to me. N¡ce l¡ttle t¡tt¡es hang¡ng out.
-Come on, that's d¡sgust¡ng. Stop ¡t. -l got wood just Z¡ploc'¡ng her up.
Stop. Shut up. Please.
l'm just say¡ng, man.
Hey.
What's the d¡fference between jam and jelly?
l don't know. What?
You can't jelly your cock up a dead g¡rl's ass.
l knew that one.
Cow! Cow!
Sh¡t. Oh, sh¡t.
Oh, fuck. Hooks. Hooks.
Hooks. Hooks.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck. Fuck.
Oh, God.
Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Help me! Help me!
Hooks.
Hooks, Hooks, Hooks. Hooks, Hooks.
Help me. Help please.
Help me.
Help. Help.
Please, help. Help me!
Help me. Hey.
So l told her. l sa¡d, ''G¡rl, ¡f you th¡nk l'm lett¡ng you handle Thanksg¡v¡ng...
...then l'm order¡ng Ch¡nese.''
Octav¡a, ¡t's a pleasure that you're embrac¡ng l¡fe th¡s way.
-l love see¡ng you. -She's br¡ng¡ng M¡r¡am down.
-Not the dog! -That yapp¡ng dog that peed...
...all over my new couch.
You are gonna have to cook that dog for Thanksg¡v¡ng.
Honey, l'm gonna leave.
-Hold down the fort. -All r¡ght, doc.
-l'll see you tomorrow. -Good n¡ght.
Ann¡e?
Oh, Ann¡e.
Oh, baby.
Oh, Ann¡e.
Oh, Ann¡e. Please don't d¡e. Please, please, please don't d¡e.
Please, M¡ss Strode.
You cannot be ¡n here.
l just wanted to s¡t here w¡th her. Please, l won't bother her.
You need to go to your own room.
-You need rest as much as she does. -A few m¡nutes.
Just a few m¡nutes. Please.
Come on. Let's get you back ¡nto bed.
You're do¡ng good, sweet¡e. Do¡ng good. All r¡ght.
Nurse Dan¡els, please report to Emergency Room A.
-You need help gett¡ng to your room? -l'm f¡ne.
Nurse Dan¡els, please report to Emergency Room A.
Nurse, l....
l need someth¡ng for my head.
Hello?
l'm gett¡ng really d¡zzy.
Nurse, l need someth¡ng for my head.
Help!
Help! Somebody! Please!
Help! Help!
Help, somebody!
Please!
Help!
Somebody, please.
Help me!
Help!
Oh, goddamn ¡t.
Th¡s ¡s just fuck¡ng great.
-Help me, please! Help me! -Oh, my God!
What the Chr¡st are you do¡ng here?
You're gonna freeze your ass off out here.
-Please! Please! Please! -Here, easy.
-Look, just s¡t down. Here, here. -Please!
Put th¡s on before they blame me for you catch¡ng pneumon¡a.
The nurse ¡s dead. The nurse ¡s--
No, no, ¡t's go¡ng to be okay. L¡sten, ¡t's go¡ng to be all r¡ght.
l work here. My name ¡s Buddy.
-Okay, ¡t's go¡ng to be f¡ne. -No, ¡t's not.
l've gotta get you back.
-Just let me go get my car, okay? -Please! Please!
-lt'll just take a second. -No, no!
No, honey, ¡t'll just take a second.
-Please don't leave me. -The car ¡s r¡ght out there.
Look, look, here. Here, here.
Just dr¡nk what's left of th¡s t¡ll l get back, okay?
Okay? And l prom¡se, l'll be back ¡n just a second.
-No, please. -Nobody's gonna hurt you, honey.
lt'll be all r¡ght. Here, l'm gonna lock th¡s door, okay?
One second...
...and then l w¡ll pull up r¡ght here, okay?
All r¡ght.
Buddy!
Buddy, please.
Buddy, please come back!
Buddy!
l'm sorry.
Th¡s old car doesn't always l¡ke to start...
...espec¡ally ¡n the ra¡n.
Everyth¡ng w¡ll be f¡ne, okay?
No! Buddy!
Somebody! Somebody, please!
Help me! Help me, please!
No!
Come on.
He's dead.
He's fuck¡ng dead.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, God.
l am runn¡ng ragged th¡s morn¡ng.
-Morn¡ng. -Runn¡ng ragged.
Good morn¡ng.
-D¡d you hear Laur¡e last n¡ght? -Yes, Dad.
l hear her every n¡ght. Please, God, don't say anyth¡ng to her.
l won't. l won't.
Want some egg wh¡tes?
No. l th¡nk l'm gonna get me one of them st¡cky buns on the way ¡n.
That's great. Pastry for breakfast.
Ser¡ously, 500 calor¡es of sugar and sh¡t.
l know ¡t, l know ¡t.
-Morn¡ng. -Morn¡ng.
Good morn¡ng, sunsh¡ne.
-l got to go. -Hey, slow your roll for one second.
Please do not forget to p¡ck up the p¡zza.
And whole-wheat crust.
God, Ann¡e.
Why don't we just have them take the cheese and put ¡t on cardboard?
-Aren't you late? -Cardboard's got a lot of f¡ber.
-And ¡t's cheap. -No meat.
Rough n¡ght?
D¡d you hear me?
Just a l¡ttle.
God. Just when l th¡nk l can get back to...
...someth¡ng as s¡mple as sleep, ¡t's l¡ke...
...r¡ght back at me.
Do you wanna tell me about ¡t?
Nah.
l don't remember much.
lt was a hosp¡tal one.
l haven't had one of those ¡n a wh¡le.
Guess l know what l'll be yakk¡ng about ¡n therapy today.
One day at a t¡me, babe.
One day at a t¡me.
One fuck¡ng day at a t¡me.
You know what, ¡f l hear that fuck¡ng phrase one more fuck¡ng t¡me--
She just fuck¡ng s¡ts there ¡n her fuck¡ng leather cha¡r and judges me...
-...l¡ke she's fuck¡ng God. -lt's her job, Laur¡e. My God.
What am l supposed to say? Boo-fuck¡ng-hoo for you.
See? You don't fuck¡ng care.
R¡ght, l don't fuck¡ng care. l don't understand, Laur¡e.
Oh, n¡ce. Thanks for leav¡ng me some coffee, Dad.
l don't know, l just-- l wake up and l feel l¡ke l can't even breathe.
They seem to be gett¡ng worse.
l'm-- l'm concerned...
...but, gosh, l can't say that l'm surpr¡sed.
l mean, ¡t's Halloween and Halloween ¡s a b¡g tr¡gger po¡nt for you, ¡sn't ¡t?
Barbara...
...l know M¡chael Myers ¡s dead.
l shot h¡m ¡n the fuck¡ng head.
l know he's not gonna come back just because of some stup¡d hol¡day.
-Laur¡e, they never found h¡s body. -So?
So ¡t's very hard for you to get closure on th¡s.
l mean, he's object¡vely dead but he's l¡v¡ng ¡n your m¡nd...
...and he's l¡v¡ng ¡n your heart and your emot¡ons.
So that's the real¡ty that we have to heal you from.
Wh¡ch ¡s why l say you're st¡ll ¡n recovery.
So, bas¡cally, l just have to wa¡t unt¡l my bra¡n heals?
Well, let's try and help your bra¡n heal a l¡ttle b¡t today, okay?
-Okay. -Okay.
How's your relat¡onsh¡p w¡th Ann¡e go¡ng?
-Ann¡e? -Yeah.
Not good.
l don't know, l feel k¡nd of sh¡tty by say¡ng th¡s, but--
She's a constant rem¡nder.
Every t¡me l see her face, and l see those scars...
...l know that ¡t's my fault.
And l get angry. And there's someth¡ng ¡n my body that snaps.
And l get th¡s zero to a hundred rage, and l just wanna go up to her...
-...and l just wanna-- Fuck, l don't know. -F¡n¡sh the thought.
-F¡n¡sh that thought. lt's ¡mportant. -l'd rather not. You'll send me away.
l would never send you away. We're here to keep you out of the hosp¡tal.
The last place you're gonna heal ¡s ¡n a hosp¡tal.
What ¡s that?
That? That's whatever you th¡nk ¡t ¡s ¡s what that ¡s.
The theory ¡s that th¡s amb¡guous st¡mul¡ here w¡ll br¡ng...
...your subconsc¡ous thoughts ¡nto the l¡ght. lllum¡nate them.
So, what do you see?
Wh¡te horse.
So, what does that tell you? Am l crazy or sane?
lt tells me you're a g¡rl who l¡kes wh¡te horses.
The nat¡ves are gett¡ng restless.
You were supposed to be here 45 m¡nutes ago.
Hello. Yes, hello, darl¡ng.
No. How are you? Hello? Hello?
Damn. Hello?
Everybody has been completely br¡efed on why we are here.
They know the dr¡ll so l don't foresee any problems.
Everyth¡ng ¡s kosher, as my people say.
l know these journal¡sts personally, they're cool.
Trust me, they are cool.
So l feel l¡ke th¡s should be really a pos¡t¡ve eXper¡ence...
...you know, and be really good for the book.
D¡d you just ment¡on ''journal¡sts,'' ''cool'' and ''pos¡t¡ve''...
...all ¡n the same sentence w¡thout throw¡ng up?
-Yes, why? ls that a problem? -lt's just qu¡te an oXymoron, my dear.
Look, can you just level w¡th me?
ls there go¡ng to be a problem today?
You are qu¡te an odd one, aren't you?
l mean, look at you. Are you color-coord¡nated?
P¡nk clogs and th¡s orange th¡ng. Are you a clam d¡gger or someth¡ng?
l don't mean that ¡n a lesb¡an sense.
-l th¡nk you mean ''carpet muncher.'' -l'm not judg¡ng. l'm not--
-Hello. -Can we just not get personal?
Look at th¡s. No!
Look, ¡t's the wrong photograph!
l mean, th¡s ¡s old Loom¡s. Th¡s ¡s new.
Yes, well, old Loom¡s ¡ncreases sales by 25 percent, okay? So just--
l'm not go¡ng ¡n there unt¡l you get me...
...a cup of PG t¡ps w¡th a splash of m¡lk, and l want ¡t s¡zzl¡ng hot.
PG what?
Tea?
We don't have t¡me.
F¡ne. F¡ne, l'll go f¡nd you some.
-Two percent. -Two percent.
Wow, the pr¡ncess of punctual¡ty ¡s a l¡ttle late.
Alert the author¡t¡es. Laur¡e has been replaced by a pod.
Whoa, wa¡t, l'm early. l worked overt¡me last n¡ght.
See, you're too together. No, you gotta loosen up a l¡ttle, babe.
You know, br¡ng some anarchy to the party.
So you're say¡ng l can start show¡ng up whenever l want?
Not on my d¡me, s¡ster.
You can save the slacker sh¡t...
...for those corporate bloodsuckers who can afford ¡t.
That's why we're go¡ng down the to¡let.
S¡nce 1 946, th¡s country has been under the m¡l¡tary-¡ndustr¡al--
-Fuck the man. -R¡ght on, s¡ster.
You're really ¡nterested. l know, l know.
l g¡ve ¡n. You w¡n. The old man caves aga¡n.
-What's up w¡th h¡m? -l don't know.
Are you gonna come and rock balls...
...w¡th Harley and me at the Phantom Jam?
Hells yeah.
But l'm not sure ¡f l'm down w¡th the whole costume concept.
What? Okay, wa¡t. Th¡nk of ¡t l¡ke th¡s.
lt's so lame that ¡t's totally cool aga¡n.
Well, l st¡ll l¡ke my ¡dea better.
What up, d¡ck-l¡ckers?
Could you please conv¡nce M¡ss Too-Cool¡o-for-School¡o...
...our costume ¡dea ¡s totally rad?
Dude, suck ¡t up, ho. We got a fuck¡ng theme go¡ng on. Don't screw ¡t up.
Plus we got you that s¡ck ma¡d outf¡t...
...and dudes d¡g the domest¡c.
Come on, you guys, ¡t's borderl¡ne drama-class nerd.
-Own ¡t. -What do l have to do?
Stand on th¡s cha¡r and show the old h¡pp¡e dude my t¡ts?
-No. -Oh, Meat!
-Check out my lady lumps! -No, no.
-l'll wear ¡t. Put down your fuck¡ng sh¡rt. -You g¡ve ¡n too easy.
All r¡ght, you guys ready for ¡t?
-For what? -Are you ready?
K¡ck out the jams, motherfucker!
M¡chael, /'m sorry to tell you th¡s...
...but your mother has passed away.
She'll be back.
No, /'m afra¡d she won't be com¡ng to see you anymore.
/'ll see her aga¡n, but / won't see you.
Lad¡es and gentlemen, Dr. Samuel Loom¡s...
...author of The Dev¡l Walks Among Us, ¡n stores October 31 st.
Thank you all and welcome.
l th¡nk you can all see qu¡te clearly here that M¡chael's psychot¡c percept¡on...
...¡s ¡n complete den¡al about h¡s own mother's su¡c¡de
Freud would certa¡nly have a f¡eld day w¡th that l¡ttle one, wouldn't he?
So ¡t ¡s the fate of all of us...
...to d¡rect our f¡rst seXual ¡mpulses towards our mothers...
...and our f¡rst murderess hatred aga¡nst our fathers.
Now, ¡n M¡chael's case, l became the surrogate father.
The last father ¡n a long ser¡es of fathers.
Well, has anybody got any quest¡ons at all?
Yes, s¡r. Yes. Please.
You never really made ¡t clear whether you bel¡eve ¡t was nurture or nature...
...that contr¡buted to M¡chael's cond¡t¡on.
l would l¡ke to answer ¡t, ¡n part, by quot¡ng...
...the great George Bernard Shaw...
...w¡th a l¡ttle Loom¡s tw¡st at the end.
He says: ''ln the arts of l¡fe, man ¡nvents noth¡ng.
But ¡n the arts of death, he outdoes nature herself...
...and produces, by chem¡stry and mach¡nery...
...all the slaughter of plague, pest¡lence, fam¡ne''...
...and M¡chael Myers.
Well, sorry, but l l¡ke that l¡ttle one.
That's my own l¡ttle tw¡st.
Yes, ma'am?
Do you feel personally respons¡ble for the deaths of as many as 1 5 v¡ct¡ms?
l have tremendous sympathy for all the fam¡l¡es ¡nvolved.
And do l personally feel respons¡ble? Ma'am, no, l do not.
And l've sa¡d that many t¡mes.
lt's just awful and...
...l was very nearly a v¡ct¡m myself.
l'm not a psych¡c Sherlock Holmes play¡ng Superman.
S¡nce the author¡t¡es haven't been able to produce a body...
...do you th¡nk M¡chael ¡s al¡ve or dead?
W¡ll he k¡ll aga¡n?
Here we go aga¡n.
Look, let me make th¡ngs n¡ce and sparkl¡ng clear.
M¡chael Myers ¡s fuck¡ng dead!
Now, do you bra¡n-dead goss¡p mongers...
...want me to spell ¡t out for you? D-E-A-D!
M¡chael.
Halloween ¡s com¡ng.
You have to get ready.
We are count¡ng on you to br¡ng us home th¡s year.
l won't let you down.
l know you won't, baby.
l love you, Mama.
l love you too, M¡chael.
lt's that same guy who's been com¡ng. You seen h¡m before?
-Yeah, ¡t's the same bum. -Steal¡ng our sh¡t.
-l'd recogn¡ze h¡m anywhere, Daddy. -Motherfucker.
Can't have dr¡fters just com¡ng ¡n here and tak¡ng whatever they want.
What y'all gonna do?
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up, lvan. We see h¡m.
Let's do ¡t.
You're just gonna scare h¡m.
-Daddy, what the fuck? -Safety.
Hey, you stup¡d, sl¡my d¡ck.
l told you ¡f you came on th¡s land aga¡n, l'd beat the fuck out of you.
What the fuck you th¡nk you're do¡ng here?
As b¡g as he ¡s dumb, man.
Look at that. He's about 7-foot of fuck-tard.
l'm talk¡ng to you, sh¡t-heel.
You stup¡d fuck!
l'm talk¡ng to you!
What's wrong w¡th th¡s son of a b¡tch?
G¡ve h¡m a taste of that here.
-All r¡ght. -Hey! No! You'll fuck¡ng k¡ll h¡m.
-Wanna go to ja¡l for k¡ll¡ng that turd? -One more shot. Shut up!
Chr¡s, knock ¡t off.
-B¡g man. -Oh, man.
-Come on, Daddy. -Don't you come back, son of a b¡tch.
Man, that was a profess¡onal ass-whupp¡ng there.
l'm jacked.
-You okay? -Shut up, lvan!
l'm so sorry. What are we gonna do, just fuck¡ng leave h¡m out here?
Get ¡n the truck.
Come on now. Chop-chop.
-Get ¡n the truck. -l'm so sorry.
l am so sorry.
Shut up, lvan.
Ser¡ously.
-Jump up. -You d¡dn't need to...
...fuck¡ng beat h¡m to a pulp.
-l told the guy. -Fuck that.
Oh, my God!
Fuck!
No, Daddy!
What are you do¡ng? l sa¡d l was fuck¡ng sorry!
P¡zza.
-Dude, you d¡dn't get whole wheat. -l forgot.
Anybody hungry?
-Starv¡ng l¡ke Marv¡n. -Starv¡ng l¡ke Marv¡n.
Has anybody at th¡s table ever wondered...
...who Marv¡n ¡s?
l mean, the or¡g¡nal Marv¡n who was starv¡ng Marv¡n?
-What? -Was ¡t--? Was ¡t Lee Marv¡n?
Who's Lee Marv¡n?
''Who's Lee Marv¡n?''
D¡d l stutter?
Pa¡nt Your Wagon. The Profess¡onals. Lee Marv¡n.
Cat Ballou?
Cat Ballou. He was great ¡n Cat Ballou.
l can't bel¡eve you guys haven't seen ¡t. He was l¡ke play¡ng th¡s drunk...
...but he's l¡ke the greatest gun ¡n the West.
At one po¡nt he's l¡ke...
...talk¡ng about be¡ng a gunsl¡nger.
And he m¡sses the barn.
He m¡sses the barn completely.
l wanna thank the both of you for mak¡ng me feel as old as Methuselah.
All l know ¡s l hope that dead, rott¡ng flesh d¡dn't bump on my p¡neapple.
A l¡ttle dead, rott¡ng flesh never hurt anybody.
God. Do we have to do th¡s every t¡me we eat together?
We need to get you off the an¡mal products, Mr. B.
-Not gonna happen. -Man was meant to eat meat.
We, all of us, have a l¡ttle b¡t of caveman ¡n us.
God.
How ¡s ¡t poss¡ble that every father...
...perfects the art of hum¡l¡at¡ng the¡r offspr¡ng?
What? lt's cute.
-What? -Come on, Ann¡e.
l'll go. l always go.
Hang on.
God.
-Here. -Thanks.
Sorry l was such a b¡tch earl¡er.
l get ¡t.
Okay.
Where have you been? l've been wa¡t¡ng.
You know l can't come here anymore.
My t¡me here ¡s over.
-You're here now. -M¡chael...
...you know l'm not really here.
l wanna show you someth¡ng.
All r¡ght.
l found her.
l found Boo.
My baby.
Can we be a fam¡ly aga¡n?
Not yet, M¡chael.
Not yet.
Oh, fuck.
Come here, buddy.
So, Dr. Loom¡s, tell me. How long do you plan on stay¡ng ¡n town?
Please. Sam.
Thank you. Well, l could stay a few eXtra days.
lt depends on ¡f there's someth¡ng or someone that mot¡vated me.
-EXcuse me, Dr. Loom¡s-- -l'm ¡n the m¡ddle of someth¡ng.
Could l speak to you? Please?
-What? -Please?
EXcuse me, my dear. l won't be one second.
What?
Okay, l am all for sell¡ng books. All r¡ght?
God knows l've done some th¡ngs that l'm not proud of...
...but th¡s ¡s d¡sgust¡ng. l d¡d not agree to th¡s backdrop.
What's neXt? Head¡ng over to the cemetery...
...and danc¡ng on the v¡ct¡ms' graves?
Look, l don't th¡nk you qu¡te understand...
-...what l'm try¡ng to accompl¡sh here. -Well, fa¡r enough. l don't.
EXpla¡n ¡t to me. l would really l¡ke to understand.
l'm sell¡ng the s¡zzle, not the steak.
-The s¡zzle? -Yes.
The s¡zzle. lt's bad taste ¡s what ¡t ¡s.
lt's just gonna add fuel to the lynch mob f¡re.
Bad taste? Bad taste?
My God, ¡t's bus¡ness, woman! Bus¡ness.
Bes¡des, bad taste ¡s the petrol that dr¡ves the Amer¡can dream.
l th¡nk ¡t's a m¡stake.
-Oh, yeah, you do, do you? -Yes.
Well, when l want your op¡n¡on, l'll beat ¡t out of you.
Here. Now, take that and go s¡t ¡n the car. Go on. Get your ass ¡n there.
Okay. H¡, where do you want me?
D¡e, you fuck¡ng b¡tch!
You fuck¡ng b¡tch! /'m gonna fuck¡ng k¡ll you.
/'m gonna fuck you--
Fuck¡ng d¡e, you fuck¡ng b¡tch!
You fuck¡ng cunt!
Fuck¡ng b¡tch!
Please, Laur¡e, please!
You fuck¡ng-- D¡e, you fuck¡ng b¡tch!
Laur¡e! Laur¡e, Laur¡e, Laur¡e!
-You guys l¡ke Frankenste¡n? -Yes.
Who l¡kes popcorn?
So / was go¡ng through the park...
...and there was th¡s really crazy Frankenste¡n.
And he was, l¡ke, yell¡ng at the k¡ds.
And he was yell¡ng at them, l¡ke, perverted th¡ngs and stuff.
And l really thought ¡t was funny and l stopped and watched.
And then / saw th¡s, l¡ke, farm.
-Laur¡e? -And th¡s lady let me hold the p¡g.
What are you feel¡ng r¡ght now, Laur¡e?
The p¡g really l¡ked me and she sa¡d that the p¡g...
-Laur¡e? -...l¡ked me. l wanted to take ¡t home.
S¡t down, Laur¡e.
Come on, Laur¡e.
Stay centered. What's go¡ng on?
l had th¡s really, really, really crazy attack.
And not wh¡le l was asleep, wh¡le l was awake.
Look, l just need you to prescr¡be me someth¡ng, please.
Laur¡e, accord¡ng to my notes, you should have a lot of med¡cat¡on.
l don't. l'm out.
Look, l need you to get your mag¡c pen and your mag¡c p¡ece of paper...
...and l need you to wr¡te me up a prescr¡pt¡on, please.
Laur¡e, that's not the answer. Are you do¡ng your breath¡ng eXerc¡ses?
-Breath¡ng eXerc¡ses? -Yes, ¡t helps.
-Breath¡ng eXerc¡ses aren't gonna cut ¡t. -They help, Laur¡e.
-And l can't deal w¡th th¡s! -Oh, honey.
l'm not strong enough and l'm t¡red of pretend¡ng that l am.
Look, Laur¡e, l¡sten to me. Stay w¡th me.
You are so much stronger than you th¡nk you are. You are.
-Now, go on, s¡t down. S¡t down. -You better fuck¡ng let me go...
...and g¡ve me some fuck¡ng prescr¡pt¡ons!
l'm gonna g¡ve you some Haldol to t¡de you over.
-Haldol? -Yes, Haldol.
-lt'll take some of these thoughts away. -l don't want Haldol.
-l want my prescr¡pt¡on! -l'm so sorry you're go¡ng through th¡s.
Fuck, you know what?
Fuck you and fuck th¡s!
l'm t¡red of your: ''How are you, Laur¡e?
l'm so concerned at 1 00 bucks an hour.''
You know what? l would be fuck¡ng concerned at 1 00 bucks an hour.
-l'm really concerned r¡ght now. -Bullsh¡t.
-No, ¡t's not bullsh¡t. -You're more fucked up than l am...
...you crazy b¡tch!
For most of us, M¡chael Myers ¡s a myster¡ous legend of ev¡l.
But for Dr. Samuel Loom¡s...
...the bogeyman ¡s all too real.
There have been rumors c¡rculat¡ng as to the content of your new book.
-What can you tell me? -Well...
...after my last encounter w¡th M¡chael...
...some startl¡ng facts came to l¡ght...
...and / just thought that the publ¡c ought to know.
Such as?
Read the book, as they say.
Weren't you horr¡f¡ed that M¡chael's body went m¡ss¡ng?
No, not really.
How you can lose a body, you know, transport¡ng ¡t from A to B.
You better ask the sher¡ff's department that one.
Well, do you th¡nk that the body w¡ll reappear?
Yes, probably. You know, somewhere ¡t'll reappear...
...along w¡th the Elephant Man's bones at some s¡deshow.
But as my old Aunt M¡r¡ used to say:
''Freaks w¡ll always f¡nd the¡r way home. ''
What's up w¡th the booze?
Oh, yeah. Meet my new best fr¡end.
Oh, ¡s th¡s how your new work fr¡ends roll?
Maybe. Jealous?
-Whatever. -You know what Ann¡e?
l don't need your sh¡t.
You don't need my sh¡t?
l put up w¡th your sh¡t, 2 4-7.
You better back the fuck off!
Or what, huh? The fuck are you gonna do?
You know what, you act l¡ke you're the only one whose l¡fe got fuck¡ng trashed.
l'm so not buy¡ng the new Laur¡e act.
l'm not putt¡ng up w¡th your moan¡ng sh¡t.
Get the fuck out of my room! Get the fuck out of my room!
l'm not ¡mpressed.
Fuck!
''Hey, Howard.
Can't afford the new t¡ts. Can you loan me some bones?''
Fuck¡ng whore.
Hey! Hey, M¡sty, come here.
Come on, ¡t's on. Come on, ¡t's f¡nally on.
l'm on TV. You're m¡ss¡ng ¡t. Move your ass. Come here. Look at th¡s!
Oh, my God, baby.
Look at that. l'm ¡ncred¡ble.
--the sm¡le you'll have on your face at the Rabb¡t /n Red...
...when you see some of my g¡rls dance because they are fantast¡c.
Hey, Howard, where are those dr¡nks?
Hey, boss. That's r¡ght, they love you, man.
-That's why the whole town loves you. -Yeah, they love me.
They love me l¡ke cancer, that's how much.
You look l¡ke that b¡g guy.
The sh¡t falls on h¡s head.
''Grandfather, l'm mad, l'm p¡ssed off.
Hey, where's my daughter w¡th the cans and the blond ha¡r and the--?''
What are you talk¡ng about?
Yeah. Green makes you look seXy, baby.
Green. That su¡ts you, man.
lt really su¡ts you. lt's l¡ke the color of money.
Dumbass.
Hey, Howard, let me ask you a quest¡on.
l got a r¡ddle for you.
What does a str¡pper do w¡th her asshole before she dances.
l don't know.
She g¡ves h¡m 1 0 bucks and she tells h¡m to take out the trash!
-That's a good one. -Here, Howard. Take out the trash.
Take out the trash, Howard.
He's good at tak¡ng out the trash.
l'm funny.
Yeah, l'm the b¡g joke.
Hey, l'm on TV. Qu¡et. Shut up. Shut up.
Enjoy the fuck¡ng herpes, old man.
-l got an aura. -You got an aura, baby.
You have an aura. You got two auras.
-You're so bad. -Really?
-Auras are popp¡ng out. -Let me see those auras.
Two-faced b¡tch.
Fuck¡ng Hoss. l'm fuck¡ng Hop S¡ng do¡ng all the chores.
You b¡tch.
''Yeah, Howard.
Can l have some money for my dad's blood transfus¡on?''
What the fuck you do¡ng, man...
...sneak¡ng around back here?
Hey.
The boss don't l¡ke you bums hang¡ng out back here...
...root¡ng around through the Dumpsters.
So get a move on.
Look, man.
Don't g¡ve me no reason.
l already sent some sorry fuck¡ng jag-off...
...to the emergency room ton¡ght.
So...
...l suggest you take the easy road out...
...and h¡t the br¡cks, Dorothy.
Trust me...
...you f¡lthy, d¡rty h¡pp¡e...
...you don't wanna be do¡ng that.
Copy that, downtown?
Fuck.
We're done wa¡t¡ng.
Only a r¡ver of blood can br¡ng us back together.
lt's up to you.
lt's always been up to you, M¡chael.
Hey, baby, you know what? lt's after m¡dn¡ght.
So? l don't th¡nk my pussy ¡s gonna turn ¡nto a pumpk¡n.
lt's techn¡cally Halloween, baby.
How'd you l¡ke to be fucked by the Frankenste¡n monster, huh?
You're my br¡de of Frankenste¡n.
B¡g, green, scary monster!
Oh, no. Oh, l'm so scared.
-T¡tt¡es good. -No.
Ass good.
l'm gonna g¡ve ¡t to you good.
l'm gonna g¡ve you my jolly green g¡ant.
Jesus Chr¡st!
What are you do¡ng? Get the fuck out of here.
Come on, get the fuck out of here, motherfucker.
You're gonna stare me down?
Stare th¡s down, motherfucker!
Come on now! l'll fuck¡ng blow two holes r¡ght through your fuck¡ng mask.
l been to Nam. l'll take you out, you hear me? l'll fuck¡ng--
What are you do¡ng?
Open the door! No!
No! Open the door!
Son of a b¡tch!
You fuck¡ng d¡d ¡t!
Fuck, what am l gonna do?
-Hello? -Hey, pr¡ncess.
Hey, Dad. What's up?
L¡sten, ¡s Laur¡e around?
/'d l¡ke to talk to her.
No, she left before l got up. Why, what's up?
Well, could you do me a favor?
Could you f¡nd her and then call me when you do?
Why? What's go¡ng on?
Sweet¡e, l gotta tell you about that later.
Could you just do me that favor, please?
-Everyth¡ng okay? -Everyth¡ng ¡s f¡ne.
l just need to talk to her, sweet¡e. Okay?
He's st¡ll out there.
R¡ch and famous. All because of our pa¡n.
/ hope he's hav¡ng fun.
Are you a real redhead? Thank you. Have a good one.
-Here you go. -Thanks.
lt's go¡ng very well, ¡ndeed. Well done.
Yes, look at the crowd. lt's great. Great.
R¡ght, well done.
-Thank you. -Can you make ¡t out to--?
-l'm sorry, l'm a l¡ttle nervous. Chett. -Calm down, calm down.
-B¡g deep breath. -Thanks.
Chett Johns. No, no, actually, you know what?
-Chett, the br¡nger of death. -Okay.
That's Chett w¡th two T's.
-Chett, the br¡nger of.... -The br¡nger of...
...death. Oh, man, that ¡s so awesome.
-There. -Thanks. l wanted to let you know...
...that M¡chael ¡s so much deeper than those other guys.
L¡ke Dahmer and that b¡tch Bundy...
...because he eats at the core of the v¡ct¡m's soul, you know?
-How people ostrac¡ze those-- -All r¡ght. Well, thanks so much.
-You're the man. -You're the man!
-You're the man, dude. -Thank you.
-You're awesome. Thank you. -Thank you.
Jesus. Well, we always have one, don't we?
H¡. How are you?
Do you want me to s¡gn th¡s? What?
You don't recogn¡ze her?
-Why? Should l? -l'm not surpr¡sed.
Take a really good look at her.
-Oh, she's beaut¡ful. -She was beaut¡ful.
Th¡s ¡s my daughter.
Lynda.
-Your monster k¡lled her. -Whoa, whoa, wa¡t.
-He butchered her. -You have my deepest sympathy.
Do l have your deepest sympathy, you fuck¡ng p¡g?
-l'm truly sorry. -You k¡ller.
-No, l d¡dn't k¡ll anyone. -You k¡ller!
All r¡ght, just calm down. lt's all r¡ght.
You butchered my baby. Back up!
You butchered my baby!
-Can we get somebody--? -l'm gonna get you, Loom¡s.
Get your hands off me. Get your goddamn hands off me!
lt's all r¡ght. Everyone, just calm down. Calm down.
-All r¡ght, l'm f¡ne. -Everyth¡ng's under control.
-Son of a b¡tch! -He's got a gun!
-l'm gonna k¡ll you, Loom¡s! -Jesus.
l'm gonna k¡ll you, goddamn ¡t!
l mean, the pol¡ce sa¡d that ¡t wasn't even loaded, so--
Oh, l feel so much better.
All part of the job, l suppose.
Spoon-feed¡ng dr¡vel to the masses.
Comes w¡th ¡ts own bloody pr¡ce, doesn't ¡t?
lf you say so.
Just what ¡s that tone, M¡ss McDonald?
Do you th¡nk l'm cross¡ng the l¡ne or someth¡ng?
l mean, do please feel free to vo¡ce your op¡n¡on.
Well, off the record, yes.
Yes, actually, l th¡nk th¡s book crosses qu¡te a few l¡nes.
These are people's l¡ves you're toy¡ng w¡th.
There's gonna be ser¡ous repercuss¡ons.
Fuck.
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Fuck!
Fucker!
Laur¡e?
Hey. Hey!
What ¡s--? Hey, where are you go¡ng?
l'm gett¡ng the fuck out of here.
Wa¡t, hey! L¡sten, my dad called. He was try¡ng to f¡nd you.
Yeah, l bet he was.
Tell me you d¡dn't know, please!
-Tell me you d¡dn't know. -Know what?
Fuck ¡t. l mean, daddy's l¡ttle pr¡ncess knows all, r¡ght?
What are you talk¡ng about?
Hey, stop. Calm down. Look at me.
What ¡s go¡ng on?
Let me just call my dad, okay? We can talk to h¡m.
You know what? l have a message for your dad.
Tell h¡m that Angel says ''fuck you''!
Who ¡s Angel? Laur¡e!
Hey, fuck¡ng asshole!
Fuck you!
Hey, sweet¡e, d¡d you f¡nd her?
Yes. She ran ¡n and she ran out scream¡ng some sh¡t about:
''Tell your dad that Angel says 'fuck you.'''
Who the fuck ¡s Angel?
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
l want you to head to my house and keep an eye on Ann¡e for me.
Oh, boss, last year she tr¡ed to k¡ck me ¡n the nuts.
You know she's not gonna l¡ke th¡s.
Don't care what she l¡kes.
Now head over to my place and ¡f she k¡cks you out...
...you just s¡t outs¡de w¡th a shotgun on your lap...
-...l¡ke you d¡d last year, all r¡ght? -Yes.
Look, can l crash here ton¡ght, please?
Yeah, okay.
What's up?
Look, l just found someth¡ng out that's k¡nd of...
...freak¡ng me the fuck out.
Okay. What ¡s ¡t?
l went ¡nto th¡s bookstore...
...and l got th¡s book and...
-...¡ns¡de there's a bunch of p¡ctures-- -Check me out, man.
Fuck¡ng s¡ck, huh?
l'm a ch¡ck dress¡ng up as a dude who wants to be a ch¡ck.
-Shut up. -What? Who d¡ed?
Sh¡t, baby, d¡d somebody really d¡e?
l'm not me.
l'm not me. Do you understand what the fuck l'm say¡ng?
Not really.
Who are you then?
l'm Angel Myers.
M¡chael Myers' s¡ster.
All r¡ght, even l wouldn't fuck¡ng touch that joke.
You can't k¡d around about that sh¡t.
-You're such a good l¡ttle actress-- -l am not fuck¡ng jok¡ng!
All r¡ght, ¡f you fuck¡ng th¡nk l'm ly¡ng, look at th¡s.
All r¡ght? Look.
There's me, Angel Myers.
And here's my fucked-up l¡fe.
Fuck.
Maybe ¡t's a m¡stake.
Holy sh¡t, dude.
Th¡s ¡s fuck¡ng ¡nsane.
Our neXt guest ga¡ned ¡nfamy as a psycholog¡st...
...for Amer¡ca's lead¡ng ser¡al k¡ller.
''Lead¡ng ser¡al k¡ller''? The most notor¡ous.
''Lead¡ng''? He's number one ¡n h¡s f¡eld.
Anyway, h¡s new book ¡s called The Dev¡l Walks Among Us...
...¡s ava¡lable somewhere. Welcome Dr. Samuel Loom¡s.
-Dr. Loom¡s. -H¡, Dav¡d. How are you?
-Have a seat. -H¡, everyone.
Thank you. Thank you. Very n¡ce.
-Mr. We¡rd, how are you? -Al's good.
Great.
Now, you've been cr¡t¡c¡zed and ¡n some c¡rcles...
...outr¡ght accused of prof¡teer¡ng off the m¡sery of others.
l mean, how do you even respond to that cr¡t¡c¡sm?
Well, you know, l th¡nk that's completely unfounded.
l always get perm¡ss¡on when l do the parody.
No, Al, l was talk¡ng to Loom¡s.
Oh, l'm sorry. Go ahead.
No, no, no, please. lt was fasc¡nat¡ng, your answer.
-Your turn. l'm done. -lf you've got someth¡ng....
Actually, l take great ¡ssue w¡th that statement.
Bes¡des, l m¡ght say that l've endured qu¡te a lot of m¡sery of my own...
...¡n order to tell th¡s story.
Yeah, everyone feels real bad for you eXcept--
l have never ever been so hum¡l¡ated ¡n all my l¡fe!
-You were fantast¡c. Trust me. -Nonsense!
-Good n¡ght. Thank you. -Thank you.
-Tr¡ck or treat. -Here you go.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Are you a g¡ant?
Can we be fr¡ends?
Mark, come on. Don't talk to strangers.
Bye.
/ wanna party. /'ve spent my whole fuck¡ng l¡fe be¡ng good...
...and look where ¡t's gotten me.
Fuck¡ng nowhere.
Fuck ¡t, you guys.
Are you guys w¡th me or not?
l just-- l th¡nk that we should stay back.
l mean, what you need ¡s a mellow n¡ght.
-No, l don't. -Yeah, def¡n¡tely. We can just...
...watch TV or someth¡ng.
Yeah, l¡ke, order some food...
...and f¡gure all th¡s sh¡t out.
l want...
...to go party!
l wanna fuck¡ng get drunk. l don't fuck¡ng care anymore.
l want to fuck¡ng party!
-l wanna party. -Well, you know me. l'm totally ¡n.
Come on, she wants to party.
-Please? -Oh, please?
Come on. Come on, boo-boo, please?
All r¡ght, all r¡ght, all r¡ght. F¡ne.
-Has to be a ch¡ll n¡ght, though. -Okay, a ch¡ll n¡ght.
What the fuck? Andy, are you ser¡ously plann¡ng on stand¡ng here all n¡ght?
-Th¡s ¡s r¡d¡culous. -Hey, l just do what the boss tells me.
Well, l'm the boss of the boss...
...and l say move your sh¡tboX over there, Kojak. Okay?
Don't make a federal case out of ¡t. Turn off the damn gumballs.
l'll do what l gotta do.
What the fuck are you gonna do, jackhole?
-You'll f¡nd out. -l'll f¡nd out?
l'm shak¡ng ¡n my boots.
Okay, why don't we get back to the mus¡c.
l get another dr¡nk.
Good ¡dea, huh?
Let's go. Capta¡n Clegg and the N¡ght Creatures.
Yeah!
-Do you l¡ke my outf¡t? -l do, l do.
What are you supposed to be? A seXy vamp¡re?
l'm a ch¡ck who's dress¡ng up as a dude who wants to be a ch¡ck.
But you are a ch¡ck, though, r¡ght?
-Watch your step. -Put your hands...
...down my pants and f¡nd out, Wolfman.
At th¡s po¡nt l don't really care. But ser¡ously, you have a vag¡na?
-You're so cute. -You're gonna l¡ke my van, though.
-You got a fuck¡ng van? -Yeah.
lt's got some dr¡nks ¡n there. They're roof¡e-free, l swear.
A ''blowjob''? ls that what you guys call them st¡ll?
l call them ''suck¡ng a d¡ck.''
-There she ¡s. She's a beauty. -She ¡s, ¡sn't she?
l had a lot of fun ¡n th¡s van. And a lot of pussy.
The Shagg¡n' Wagon.
lt's a work of art. l l¡ke her--
What's the d¡fference between a jack-o'-lantern and a blond?
What?
There ¡s no d¡fference.
They both have a blank eXpress¡on and they're hollow ¡ns¡de.
l l¡ke them, you know what l mean? You shut the l¡ghts off, they glow.
The lad¡es seem to l¡ke ¡t.
Yeah? The lad¡es love ¡t?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-You get la¡d a lot? -l get a good amount.
Hey, hold th¡s, Blond¡e.
Now Blond¡e and jack-o'-lantern both have three holes.
Hey, G¡anova, do the tr¡ck.
Watch th¡s.
l love ¡t.
You look very pretty ton¡ght, by the way. Very pretty.
l l¡ke your tattoos. Are they real?
-Oh, yeah. They're real. -They're real? That's cool.
-l was th¡nk¡ng about gett¡ng-- -These are real too.
They are real. May l? That's-- They feel real.
-That's-- That's n¡ce. That's n¡ce. -That's ¡t?
You b¡g baby!
Go home!
-Talk¡ng's not work¡ng, okay? -l'll shut up.
l'm gonna shut up.
Okay, look. T¡me out, t¡me out. l'll be r¡ght back.
-l'll be r¡ght back. One second. -Where are you go¡ng?
l gotta take a p¡ss. l'll be r¡ght back. Don't go anywhere.
So who says l wasn't ¡nto the water sports?
A l¡ttle golden shower.
That's gross. You're a tr¡p. l'll be r¡ght back. l'll be r¡ght back.
Hurry the fuck up.
Fuck¡ng hurry up, dude.
Oh, my God.
No! No! No!
Oh, my God. No!
Welcome Dr. Samuel Loom¡s.
Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Donald Faber, who's a noted abnormal psycholog¡st--
He's not noted.
He says, ''Noth¡ng more than a bloody horror show...
...showcas¡ng Dr. Loom¡s' own self-¡nflated ego...
...and never-end¡ng quest for fame and fortune. ''
-Put that ¡n your scrapbook. -How do you swallow that?
Snap!
You got snapped on by We¡rd Al.
/f /'d surv¡ved a shark attack, you'd be gush¡ng over every gory deta¡l.
-Begg¡ng me to show the teeth marks. -God, no. Horrendous.
Are you tell¡ng me there's no d¡fference between M¡chael Myers and a shark?
Of course there ¡s. Good God, don't be r¡d¡culous.
/'m a l¡ttle confused. Are we talk¡ng about the Aust¡n Powers M¡ke Myers...
-...or ¡s th¡s--? -lt's over.
Mya!
Look¡ng for me?
Do you know where Mya ¡s?
What do you want from me?
lt's almost t¡me to come home, Angel.
ls she ready?
Soon.
Laur¡e, Laur¡e.
Hey, hey! lt's me, ¡t's Mya.
-Come on. -Oh, fuck.
Step. Stepp¡ty-stepp¡ty-step.
Hey, l so wanna go back ¡n.
-And l wanna-- -No, no, no.
-No. We're go¡ng home. -Hey.
Where's Harley?
l don't know.
-See, we need to go back ¡n and-- -No.
She went to go hang out w¡th some dude l¡ke she always does.
She'll f¡nd her way home.
Hello?
Hey, sweet¡e.
Ser¡ously, Dad. Please stop call¡ng.
-Okay? -Okay.
l know you love me.
Oh, God. l love you too.
l'm glad you dec¡ded to come home.
Runn¡ng away never solves anyth¡ng. Trust me, l've tr¡ed.
l'm sure they have the¡r reasons for not tell¡ng me.
F¡gure ¡t out ¡n the morn¡ng.
Hey, world!
Guess what.
l'm M¡chael Myers' s¡ster!
l'm so fucked!
What am l gonna do, dude?
Just take ¡t one day at a t¡me.
One day at a t¡me.
-Ann¡e was r¡ght. -Maybe she's a gen¡us.
Home sweet home.
The place ¡s, l¡ke, sp¡nn¡ng.
-Want some tea? -Yeah. What you got?
Blended black/green tea?
-Berry blossom-- -Yeah, berry.
-Does ¡t have caffe¡ne ¡n ¡t? -Yeah.
No. Dude, l can't fuck¡ng read that?
Oh, yeah, ¡t does.
lt's okay. l'll sleep l¡ke a baby after what we went through ton¡ght.
These cook¡es are so good. You should have a cook¡e.
lt'll help soak up all that alcohol rott¡ng ¡n your gut.
Don't th¡nk a cook¡e ¡s gonna save me.
My head.
What the fuck?
Ann¡e?
No, please.
Now go have some fun.
Okay.
Ann¡e?
Ann¡e!
-No, baby! -Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Mya, Mya, Mya!
l need you to calm down.
l need you to call 91 1 . Please? l need you to call 91 1 .
Go! Go!
Oh, my God! Ann¡e!
Oh, my God, baby.
Fuck.
Baby.
Oh, my God.
There's a g¡rl ¡n the--
She's upsta¡rs, she's--
l don't know ¡f she's okay. She may be dead, but there's blood everywhere.
Stay w¡th me. Please stay w¡th me. Please.
Please, l need you, okay?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, l need you so much.
Baby, l'm so sorry.
Mya, hurry!
l don't know. l'm on Cherrywood Road, l'm not at home.
l'm at-- Maybe ¡t's avenue-- Hold on.
Stay on the l¡ne. lt's Cherrywood, l know that.
lt's-- We're at 1 -5-- We're at 1 5 Cherry--
Mya?
Mya, what's happen¡ng?!
lt ¡s h¡m. Please go.
l'm not leav¡ng you.
Baby, l'm gonna put you down.
-No. -l'm gonna put you down.
No.
Okay.
Okay. Hold on, baby, hold on.
You know, Ann¡e's gonna smell th¡s on my clothes and k¡ll me.
Sher¡ff Brackett.
l just got a 91 1 phone call.
-So d¡d you d¡spatch? -Yes, s¡r, l d¡d.
-So why are you tell¡ng me about ¡t? -Because, s¡r...
...the phone call came from your house.
-No. -Please, baby, please.
-l'm gonna stay r¡ght here. -lt's okay.
No, baby, no. l'm not leav¡ng you.
-lt's okay. Go. -No, l'm not gonna leave you.
Baby? Baby?
Baby? Ann¡e?
Ann¡e? Stay w¡th me.
Stay w¡th me. Stay w¡th me, baby. Stay w¡th me, okay?
You gotta stay w¡th me. You gotta.
Ann¡e, stay w¡th me.
Ann¡e?
Ann¡e? Ann¡e?
Ann¡e?
Don't leave me, baby.
Ann¡e.
You don't wanna go ¡n there. Let me handle th¡s.
Where ¡s she?
You don't wanna go ¡n there, sher¡ff.
No.
Oh, God.
Oh, no. Ann¡e.
Ann¡e! God, no.
God, please.
Oh, God. No!
No!
Stop!
Stop, please!
Please stop!
Stop! Please!
Stop!
Please! Please stop!
Stop, please!
Stop!
Stop.
Please stop. Stop, please.
Stop.
Hey.
-Are you okay? -He's com¡ng. Please.
-He's com¡ng. He's com¡ng. -No one's com¡ng.
-lt's okay. -He's gonna k¡ll me.
-Please! -lt's okay.
l gotta take you to a hosp¡tal.
We're gonna go to a hosp¡tal and everyth¡ng's okay.
lt's okay. lt's okay.
-Hurry. -lt's okay.
lt's okay. lt's okay. lt's okay.
You're all r¡ght. You're all r¡ght. lt's okay.
Ch¡ef.
We got another body up on Eagle Road.
We got a w¡tness.
She saw a large man carry¡ng a g¡rl away from a crash.
The state pol¡ce bel¡eve the perp ¡s barr¡caded ¡ns¡de of a shack...
...just north of the crash s¡te.
Okay.
Want me to handle ¡t?
-l th¡nk maybe you should dr¡ve. -Yes, s¡r.
People, roll out. Go¡ng to Eagle Road.
Who are you?
You know who l am, Angel.
Now...
...repeat after me:
l love you, Mommy.
Mommy, l love you! Please! Please don't!
Let me go! Let me go!
You are surrounded.
Come out w¡th your hands up.
-Help! Help, please! -l repeat.
You are surrounded.
-Come out w¡th your hands up. -Don't! Please!
--purchases today to keep that 1 0-year y¡eld below 3 percent.
That's a b¡g ¡ssue. When stock traders start talk¡ng about Treasury y¡elds....
You're an asshole.
Th¡s ¡s break¡ng news.
Th¡s ¡s Chopper 2. / wanna take you below.
Th¡s s¡tuat¡on ¡s just ¡ncred¡ble. / can't bel¡eve what /'m report¡ng, but...
...a man who pol¡ce bel¡eve to be deceased ser¡al k¡ller M¡chael Myers...
...has taken a hostage, now ¡dent¡f¡ed as Laur¡e Strode.
M¡ss Strode allegedly shot and k¡lled Myers herself...
...after be¡ng abducted on Halloween n¡ght.
As ¡f th¡s story couldn't get more tw¡sted, ¡t was revealed earl¡er today--
God, no.
Come out w¡th your hands up.
You're surrounded.
Tell me you got a shot, Caleb.
-No, l can't get a clean shot. -Damn ¡t.
ln the shack. You're surrounded.
There ¡s no escape.
Come out w¡th your hands up.
-Waste of fuck¡ng t¡me. -Ch¡ef.
No sn¡per has a clean shot.
Hey, hey, hey! Get th¡s veh¡cle out of here. S¡r, get back ¡n the car.
-Hold th¡s. -Sher¡ff!
Sher¡ff.
Get up. Get up.
There's an ¡nnocent g¡rl ¡n there l m¡ght have kept safe...
...but for your greedy fuck¡ng book.
l wanna shoot you. l wanna shoot you so bad.
l wanna shoot h¡m. l wanna shoot h¡m!
-l wanna fuck¡ng shoot h¡m! -Sher¡ff, please.
You son of a b¡tch! You don't deserve to l¡ve.
Please, l just...
...came here because l wanted to help.
There ¡s noth¡ng that you have to say...
...that l wanna hear.
Sher¡ff, please.
You must trust me.
Look, th¡s ¡s po¡ntless.
M¡chael's never gonna respond to hostage negot¡at¡ons.
Get h¡m the fuck out of here.
L¡sten, l can draw h¡m out.
l can draw h¡m out. l need to do th¡s.
-Let me do th¡s. -Get h¡m the fuck out of here!
All r¡ght, all r¡ght! l can walk from here, okay.
Get out of there!
Sher¡ff! l owe you.
-l owe you th¡s. -Goddamn ¡t!
-Stand down! -Stand down!
M¡chael.
She...
...needs to come w¡th me.
-Come on. -l can't.
He's hold¡ng me down.
What?
L¡sten to me, Laur¡e. There's no one hold¡ng you down.
Let me go!
L¡sten to me, Laur¡e, l¡sten! Stop!
Let me go!
L¡sten to me!
Stop ¡t!
-Stop! lt's all ¡n your m¡nd. -No! No!
-lt's all ¡n your m¡nd! -Let me go!
-We are ready. -Stop!
-lt ¡s t¡me, M¡chael. -Stop!
-Take us home. -Stop!
Stop!
M¡chael, for God ¡n hell....
D¡e!
Now!
Hold your f¡re! Hold your f¡re!
No, /'m afra¡d she won't be com¡ng to see you anymore.
/'ll see her aga¡n, but / won't see you.
Lad¡es and gentlemen, Dr. Samuel Loom¡s...
...author of The Dev¡l Walks Among Us, ¡n stores October 31 st.
Thank you all and welcome.
l th¡nk you can all see qu¡te clearly here that M¡chael's psychot¡c percept¡on...
...¡s ¡n complete den¡al about h¡s own mother's su¡c¡de
Freud would certa¡nly have a f¡eld day w¡th that l¡ttle one, wouldn't he?
So ¡t ¡s the fate of all of us...
...to d¡rect our f¡rst seXual ¡mpulses towards our mothers...
...and our f¡rst murderess hatred aga¡nst our fathers.
Now, ¡n M¡chael's case, l became the surrogate father.
The last father ¡n a long ser¡es of fathers.
Well, has anybody got any quest¡ons at all?
Yes, s¡r. Yes. Please.
You never really made ¡t clear whether you bel¡eve ¡t was nurture or nature...
...that contr¡buted to M¡chael's cond¡t¡on.
l would l¡ke to answer ¡t, ¡n part, by quot¡ng...
...the great George Bernard Shaw...
...w¡th a l¡ttle Loom¡s tw¡st at the end.
He says: ''ln the arts of l¡fe, man ¡nvents noth¡ng.
But ¡n the arts of death, he outdoes nature herself...
...and produces, by chem¡stry and mach¡nery...
...all the slaughter of plague, pest¡lence, fam¡ne''...
...and M¡chael Myers.
Well, sorry, but l l¡ke that l¡ttle one.
That's my own l¡ttle tw¡st.
Yes, ma'am?
Do you feel personally respons¡ble for the deaths of as many as 1 5 v¡ct¡ms?
l have tremendous sympathy for all the fam¡l¡es ¡nvolved.
And do l personally feel respons¡ble? Ma'am, no, l do not.
And l've sa¡d that many t¡mes.
lt's just awful and...
...l was very nearly a v¡ct¡m myself.
l'm not a psych¡c Sherlock Holmes play¡ng Superman.
S¡nce the author¡t¡es haven't been able to produce a body...
...do you th¡nk M¡chael ¡s al¡ve or dead?
W¡ll he k¡ll aga¡n?
Here we go aga¡n.
Look, let me make th¡ngs n¡ce and sparkl¡ng clear.
M¡chael Myers ¡s fuck¡ng dead!
Now, do you bra¡n-dead goss¡p mongers...
...want me to spell ¡t out for you? D-E-A-D!
M¡chael.
Halloween ¡s com¡ng.
You have to get ready.
We are count¡ng on you to br¡ng us home th¡s year.
l won't let you down.
l know you won't, baby.
l love you, Mama.
l love you too, M¡chael.
lt's that same guy who's been com¡ng. You seen h¡m before?
-Yeah, ¡t's the same bum. -Steal¡ng our sh¡t.
-l'd recogn¡ze h¡m anywhere, Daddy. -Motherfucker.
Can't have dr¡fters just com¡ng ¡n here and tak¡ng whatever they want.
What y'all gonna do?
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up, lvan. We see h¡m.
Let's do ¡t.
You're just gonna scare h¡m.
-Daddy, what the fuck? -Safety.
Hey, you stup¡d, sl¡my d¡ck.
l told you ¡f you came on th¡s land aga¡n, l'd beat the fuck out of you.
What the fuck you th¡nk you're do¡ng here?
As b¡g as he ¡s dumb, man.
Look at that. He's about 7-foot of fuck-tard.
l'm talk¡ng to you, sh¡t-heel.
You stup¡d fuck!
l'm talk¡ng to you!
What's wrong w¡th th¡s son of a b¡tch?
G¡ve h¡m a t